I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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