Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
