It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
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