ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Sorry my hands just texted you
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Randomize
