a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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