How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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