wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
