Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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