So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
