Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
