put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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