I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
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