never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
