the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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