PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
