I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just high enough for therapy.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
