So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
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I need a burrito and a hug.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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