just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
