Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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