I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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