I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
