This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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