Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
