nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
