bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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