Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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