so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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