im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
