I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
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Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
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Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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