I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
