So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I want a musical about memes.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
