i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
