this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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