don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
