Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
do herpes really smell.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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