Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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