It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
