don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
