You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
