i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize