Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
