drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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