So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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