Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize