he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
