Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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