I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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