I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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