Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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