yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize