We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I touched a dick in church today
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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