You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
