I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
