If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
