We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
