By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
