Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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