I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Tornado booty call.. dedication
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
