69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
