id be glad to
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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