I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
