WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
