I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
