I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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